So 5,000 blackbirds fell out of the sky last week in Arkansas, and soon after 2 million fish gilled their last breaths in the Chesapeake Bay, and 40,000 crabs collapsed and rolled over, legs akimbo, in Great Britain. These things happen all the time, scientists tell the AP, almost every other day, and we're only just now noticing and connecting the dots because of the Internet. (And because, let's face it, it's been a slow news week. If this had happened when Tiger Woods was having an affair, would anyone have cared about a bunch of birds?). "It's just a human instinct to read mystery and portents of dangers and wondrous things in events that are unusual," Harvard biologist E.O. Wilson said.
"Not to worry, these are not portents that the world is about to come to an end."
Yeah, because maybe when the world ends, there won't be any portents. Maybe we'll just all drop dead.