When Intel Chris was at summer camp in Maine in the early nineties, one of the sons of paper-printing magnate and art collector Peter Brant was a popular cool kid in his unit. Around that time, Brant married supermodel and “November Rain” video vixen Stephanie Seymour — right at the apex of her Victoria’s Secret catalog hotness (this was back before the Internet, when such things came in the mail and then went straight to the upstairs bathroom near your older brother’s bedroom). Understandably, the poor kid suffered endless Bill & Ted–style “Remember when I asked your mom to prom” jokes at camp — though he was a very good sport about it. I’d nearly forgotten about it until today, when it all came rushing back after Gawker ran a series of photos of Seymour (who is back with Brant after some crazily acrimonious divorce proceedings) and her biological son
Dylan Peter Jr. on the beach during some sort of winter-vacation jaunt.
In the pictures, it appears as though the two are … what, making out? They’re definitely doing something that “Page Six” would label “canoodling.” But that’s the trick: Photographs capture a split second of time. You look at these photos and think, Oh, this was a lingering moment — but really the paparazzo could have just captured an awkward, misfired hug, the kind that people have with their family members all the time. The Brants’ mistake was to forget that since they are famous, people with cameras are watching them all the time. But really, it was probably a perfectly natural moment!
Actually, wait. No. You know what? It’s not natural. Nobody should have someone that hot as a mom. It’s just not right! And we won’t stand for it.