In order to even better combat what they view as a coordinated conservative army of commentators (led by Fox News boss Roger Ailes), left-leaning watchdog group Media Matters has formed a secretive boot camp where they train their own coterie of "attractive, articulate" wannabe pundits to get liberal messages across. According to an amusing report by the Washington Post's Jason Horowitz this morning, the way Media Matters sees it, liberal commentators are "just too smart for their own good." They're too wonky, too dependent on facts and figures, and too nuanced. Also, they're awkward:
The participants studied "strength and warmth inventory" handouts ("furrowed brow" for strength, "brow up" for warmth). They learned to avoid licking lips, tilting heads and rubbing one hand against the other. Even a benign tic can read sinister on-screen. "Paper covers rock" is the safest hands-at-rest position.
This sounds great! (Every time I go on Fox News, I do this bizarre thing where I look down at my shoes. Bad pundit! Bad!) So what kind of liberal all-stars are they getting to combat the law-school-educated glamazons of Fox?
All in mid-career, the class included liberal think tank directors, former Capitol Hill staffers and presidential campaign aides, a pollster, a university professor, a combat veteran and contestants from both American Idol and The Apprentice.
Christ, liberals. You will never get it, will you?