St. Patrick’s Day Dwarf Hiring Spree Indicates Financial Sector Back in the Swing of Things

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"Just to keep you posted on how well the economy is doing in relationship to dwarf talent bookings this St. Patrick's Day, leprechaun season: When about seven out of ten voice mails say, 'Financial transaction directives left on voice mail, e-mail or text message will not be processed, and investment trades of stock, bonds, mutual funds, and annuities will not be bought, sold, or traded from your message ...' when we return calls, you know the big boys are back to making money and spending it on lavish dwarf entertainment amongst other luxuries! Go green!" —Danny Black, proprietor of Wall Street's preeminent dwarf-for-hire site, ShortDwarf.com; Daily Intel economic correspondent.