Peter Kassel’s account of what happened to a guy named “Doug” comes secondhand, so take it with a grain of salt. But it also involves a mock human (possible sex toy) made of leftovers, so listen close. On the fashion blog Refinery 29, Kassel recounts the story of trying to find a sublet on short notice. Kassel found a space in the spare office of the apartment of a freelance writer named Doug. Aside from a “kind of ‘dude’ funk smell that some might have shied away from,” Doug’s room was a steal, so Kassel asked what gives. Doug proceeded to tell Kassel the weirdest roommate story we’ve ever heard. Hoarders are one thing. Sex-toy enthusiasts are another. Doug’s former roommate Jack is something else entirely.
Starting with the words, “I’d feel like an ass if I rented the place to you and didn’t tell you what happened here a few months ago,” Doug explained how he found his former roommate Jack on Craigslist. They had the kind of relationship where you’re essentially living with a stranger and avoid each other as much as possible. During a heavy rainstorm, however, Doug went into Jack’s room to close the window. Once inside, Doug found stacks of half-eaten Chinese-food containers. Next Doug found a boot filled with Chinese food (Refinery 29 has the photographic evidence). Then he saw a human-shaped object beneath the twin bed.
You can make this sort of thing up. But if you did, you should be on contract somewhere and not freelance.