Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Polyamorous Transman Getting It On to the Glee Soundtrack: transman, 26, performance poet, Prospect Heights, in a polyamorous relationship with a primary partner.
7:30 a.m.: We are on the train headed to the Humane Society to neuter a stray cat my partner found on the street. Needless to say, we are in a serious queer relationship.
11:03 a.m.: We find a café to settle into to get work done. There is a creepy guy who will not stop staring at mostly her but sometimes locks eyes with me. We're not a conventional-looking couple, but it's New York; I feel pretty every day here. I'm a chubby, short transgender man wearing a bright red V-neck and fitted brown cardigan, and my partner's a fierce femme with short hair in bright red lipstick, a gray dress shirt, black cardigan, and skinny tie. We're both in pants and no underwear. She is lookin' really hawt and I want to take a bathroom break to go down on her.
11:10 a.m.: She preps for an interview with a nonprofit, and I attempt to write a poem but am uninspired. We chat about our weekend plans, which takes awhile because we are in an open polyamorous relationship. She's my primary partner, and we date other people. She tells me that on Saturday she is going on an OkCupid date with another woman, and simultaneously I am going on a date with another person I see sometimes. We talk about whether or not we will have sex on these dates. She probably won't, and I say I might.
4:29 p.m.: I start a late lunch/dinner at my partner's place. I love the idea of being home cooking for her all day. When she gets back, a make-out session before dinner turns into my mouth on her tits. I take a bathroom break and come back to her naked in bed. She wants to know if I'm gonna be a good boy and cum for her before I start fucking her. I cum in her hands then, my giant two-inch cock pulsing beneath her. Afterward, I stick a Share (strapless double dildo) inside myself and begin fucking her in every position she asks for. I'm pretty much into whatever she wants, happy in service. The super is in the hallway fixing something, but we don't care. We finish minutes before her roommate comes home with a friend.
10:12 a.m.: I wake up horny, and I want to watch some hentai porn. My roommate leaves so I put on a porno about a virgin boy in a bathroom stall with a girl who convinces him to let her go down on him. I grab my cock and some lube and jerk off until I come seven or eight times.
3:22 p.m.: Some days, particularly following a testosterone injection, I am extremely horny. I can't even get through a couple of hours of work without wanting to get off. I need to masturbate right now in my work chair as I write this. I watch a gay yaoi porn with a man in handcuffs riding another guy until he cream-pies him in the ass. I get off and go back to work.
8:40 p.m.: I arrive at my partner's house for a date night, which I love more than anything. We eat junk food, and I show her the pornos I watched today, and she shows me her favorite radical queer porn. Things get hot. Usually we have really kinky sex, but tonight we briefly acknowledge the things in the videos and make passionate love laced with a little S&M. She has an intense orgasm in both ends and is so exhausted I don't get to finish. She asks for a rain check and gives me a hand job.
9:35 a.m.:I like morning sex, the sleepy stumble of hands and mouths is so sexy. I wake her up by playing with her breasts, and she plays with me using her vibrator. I’ve never had an orgasm with a vibrator before so it’s new and feels really nice. She lets me cum a couple times and then we have some fun in a mama/baby role play. We have sex for a couple of hours and get out of bed to start our days. I love having sex with my partner; it’s fun, hot, and I love finding and touching new places on her perfect and beautiful body. I love that she thinks that my body is hot and masculine the way it is. I haven’t had any surgeries, and I hate when people treat bodies as the main/only tell-all for gender.
12:10 p.m.: We take a post-sex shower, and in the shower she casually mentions a woman she met at a bar and then had sex on the beach with. I get mad because part of our disclosure agreement was telling each other if and who we have sex with. We made this agreement in September. After 30 minutes of me being pissed and talking, she remembers that it was her August trip to Florida not her October trip, which totally changes the game. I grill her, and I believe her. She is in tears, and we're both feeling ridiculous from the experience. We promise not to fake fight any more.
4 p.m.: I go home to get ready for a trip to Philadelphia to perform with some friends. I am wondering if anyone really hot will be there that I'd like to play with while I'm in town.
6:37 p.m.: Still stuck in traffic with my friends (both performers). One of them is a porn star from the videos we watched yesterday. They tell us a little bit about their upcoming projects. We eat tons of snacks out of boredom and because the Holland Tunnel traffic sucks. We talk about who we're sleeping with and what we'll perform tonight.
10:22 p.m.: We finally arrive in Philadelphia, get a vegan slice, and head straight to the dressing room. Everyone is naked or half-naked and in costume or drag. The performances start in less than half an hour, and we're all scrambling to get ready. No time for cruising. The whole night is filled with beautiful queer drag, burlesque, spoken word, and song.
1:12 a.m.: I finish my performance and go backstage to clean up and load out. Philly closes at 2 a.m. so by the time everything is done, most people have left, and I am ready to start drinking. Oh well, I didn't see or flirt with anyone I wanted to go home with, but a creepy-eyed guy stares at me, opens the door, and drunkenly say something I don't understand. Asian fetish much, asshole?
2:05 a.m.: I drive back to New York.
12:10 p.m.: I have brunch with two of my best friends, and I tell them about the fake fight from the day before, and they laugh with me but are slightly skeptical. Everyone at the table has multiple partners or at least upcoming dates with different folks. My friend tells us about a date she has the next day, and we pass this person on the street at brunch. Queer Brooklyn is small.
3:15 p.m.: I call my partner and make sure all the facts are correct. She promises it was in August. I say that was the last time I will ask. I trust her, but my friends got into my head for a minute.
5:03 p.m.: My date for the evening is on time. I am so unprepared since I thought that they were certainly going to be late. My high femme stereotypes need work. They pick me up at my house so that we can walk to the first part of our date, which I am supposed to plan. I chose a First Nations dance show at the Brooklyn Museum, and when we get there it is overrun by kids. After about two minutes of watching, we realize it is a children's show. While I do love children's things, this isn't that kind of date, so we leave for a drink before dinner. The date is now perfect — a drink at the restaurant bar while waiting for a table, a delicious Thai dinner, and then another drink at a gay-boy bar. This is technically our fifth date, but our first planned real date going out and not just to each other's houses or spur of the moment. Our current relationship is undefined, so for the purpose of this diary I will call them my lover.
10:20 p.m.: My lover and I leave the bar and drive around deciding what to do and where to hook up. Somewhere in Gowanus we see a message from heaven: a giant illuminated Dyke Lumber sign. We stop the car, put on some Glee and start our journey to regionals. After going through Volume 1, a creepy SUV pulls up and starts to flash us so we leave not wanting to deal with being harassed. My car is visibly queer; it has a glittery rainbow sticker on it. We don't want trouble, we want to have sex.
11:02 p.m.: We find another location and season two's soundtrack begins. We start to play a game where I get a hand job if I sing along and they stop if I stop. I have to sing "Lean on Me," which takes the lyrics "If you have a load that you have to bear" and "Call on me brother when you need a hand" to a whole other level. This is harder than it sounds. All those years in show choir did not help me with my boner tonight. If this was Glee karaoke on Wii, I would have set a new record low. Luckily my lover doesn't hold it against me, and we make it past Volume 2 and into the Madonna album.
12:44 a.m.: I arrive at my partner's house. She is jello because she knows I had sex tonight. Maybe I shouldn't have come over. She tells me too much about her date in what I suspect is an attempt to make me feel what she is feeling, and now we are both upset. I ask her if she will see her again, and she says, "Definitely." She is jealous, and I am mad that she is jealous. We go to sleep without resolution.
9:30 a.m.: The alarm goes off and we immediately start having some kind of awkward makeup sex. She is in the mood for a daddy/girl scene, which I am not usually in the mood to do, but I want to please her. It turns out to be really fucking hawt and it's always nice to discover a new desire. Any frustration that we had was absorbed in the kinky fantasy that we played out. We go back to sleep after we finish.
12:13 p.m.: We wake up and I am still horny so I masturbate while she goes to the bathroom. We talk a little bit about jealousy and arrive at a better place in our relationship. We affirm our love for each other and negotiate how much to disclose our dates and desires. We don't come up with anything new, but it feels good to check in about it all. She's a really great communicator, and it makes me want to be better at communicating too. We leave to go on our date to a play and meal.
7:20 p.m.: We arrive home, start to fool around, but are too full and tired to have sex. We take a 30-minute nap, and she wakes me up by playing with my nipples. At some point she turns off all the lights, and we decide to play study buddy turned fuck buddy. Where is the Madonna Glee album when I need it?
7:57 a.m.: I go to the DMV to change the name and gender on my driver's license. Today's off to a great start. I call my partner up in excitement and make plans for a toast tonight at her place.
1:30 p.m.: I get the new Glee album and text my lover about it.
2:27 p.m.: We make plans to meet up next week Wednesday. I ask all of my roommates to vacate the apartment that night. Our relationship is casual, but I think that it's time we had a conversation and define our relationship, or at least roles for the time being. I have never had a serious negotiation about a casual relationship, and while it seems like the two do not go together, it feels very necessary.
7:05 p.m.: I go to the gym. While I'm there, my partner calls me and asks if we can have a pizza night because she is stressed out and needs comfort food. I like pizza, but it isn't comfort food for me. I'm annoyed that our plans have changed; I thought that tonight was going to be a celebration with drinks and maybe sex. I don't pick up the pizza, and we get into a fight about it downstairs. We spend some time talking about all the stressful things going on in our lives and come to a resolution about taking care of each other differently. After we have dinner, we have really hot S&M makeup sex.
3:50 p.m.: My cock hurts. Can you pull your cock? I don't know.
4:06 p.m.: My doctor friend tells me that it's possible. Crap. What a way to end my week.
7 p.m.: False alarm. It doesn't hurt anymore.
9:33 p.m.: My partner comes over in tight black jeans and a cute gray sweater, and we stay up pretty late getting work done together, but all I want to do is look at her. I turn into juk [rice porridge] just knowing she's next to me. By the time we get to bed, we're exhausted, but somehow manage to spend a little bit of time making love. We pay attention to each other's bodies and have a softer, gentler sex giving each other the kinds of orgasms that we like best. She tells me that hers felt really nice and spread across her body like a gentle wave. I've never felt more in love.
TOTALS: eight sexytimes with others, one sexytime with others continued after creepy interruption, three self sexytimes.
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