Warning: After Reading This, You Will Want Ken Jennings to Be Your New Best Nerd


Ken Jennings has been on Reddit for the past few hours gamely answering questions from users under the handle WatsonsBitch. When one of the folks in the chatroom commented on his username, he responded, "Lots of people think it's a Jeopardy reference, but actually I was thinking of that time Watson and I were cellmates in prison, and it kept raping me."

But that wasn't the only reason he activated our nerd-love spot soft.

He makes Alex Trebek jokes (about what it's like when the credits are rolling):

It's normally a pretty awkward social scenario. Two of you are shell-shocked and pissed, one of you has just realized he's going to have to come back and do it all again after a 10-minute tape break, and one of you is slightly drunk and wants to get out of there before the Lakers game starts.

He makes drug jokes:

Never been high — except on a drug called Ken Jennings! (Warning, Ken Jennings may cause drowsiness, nausea, "housemaid's knee," night blindness, paralysis, or death. Ask your doctor if Ken Jennings is right for you.)

He has political insights:

Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and Harry Reid (D-NV) both called me back personally in 2004 to try to get me to run for Orrin Hatch's Senate seat.

I am not making this up. Win on a game show and you can apparently run for the US Senate. That was when I realized the Democratic Party was f@#$ed in '04.

He shares self-deprecating Mormon humor:

1. Christina Aguilera was born Mormon. Not our finest effort ....

5. My Sunday school teacher, when I was a Mormon teen, once memorably advised us that "There's nothing more overrated than sex, and nothing more underrated than a good bowel movement." It totally worked ... I don't remember a single other sermon from when I was a kid, but I think about this guy exactly once a day, and then again once a week.

He makes timely jokes:

GET OFF MY BACK TREBEK! Or "Chaim Trebekovitz," which is his real name. Just sayin.

We'd like to see Watson try to attempt a Charlie Sheen reference without short-circuiting.

IAmA 74-time Jeopardy! champion, Ken Jennings. I will not be answering in the form of a question [Redditt]