Nothing Says I’m-Still-Pissed-About-the-Divorce Like ‘Revenge Surgery’

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 26: Ivana Trump attends the 2010 Alzheimer's Association Rita Hayworth Gala at The Waldorf=Astoria on October 26, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Donna Ward/Getty Images) Photo: Donna Ward/2010 Getty Images

The New York Post has alerted its readers to the breaking trend of "revenge surgery" wherein newly divorced women nip and tuck their way to confidence after a decades-old marriage dissolves, literally slicing away the years spent together and uplifting (both spiritually and physically) breasts that "look like two walnuts in a pair of socks" after bearing his children. Take, for example, Ellen Sawyer, pseudonym for a 44-year-old mother of two who didn't want to use her real name. Ellen's husband of twenty years now lives with a 37-year-old Brazilian woman.

“I am a stay-at-home mom who is single, and my husband is with some exotic hottie,” she sighs. “I felt that whatever I could do to feel better about myself was OK.”

A few sessions with Howard Sobel, a Park Avenue cosmetic dermatologist, eliminated her face’s wrinkles and made her butt more Brazilian — tight and lifted.

Like the saying goes, using your alimony to remake yourself in his mistress's image is the best revenge.

I had revenge surgery! [NYP]