Hey, did you hear who's maybe running for president? Everyone. At least that's seemingly what each and every Republican politician wants us to think these days. And why not? Just say you're "thinking about it" or "keeping your options open," and the media will suddenly lavish attention on you as if you really matter. But not everybody does. Each Friday until the primaries truly begin, we'll look at which of these prospective candidates are more likely or less likely to actually enter the race, along with a prediction of the likelihood that they'll throw their hat into the ring. Excluded from this rigorous scientific analysis: any candidate we're pretty sure is definitely going to run or has already announced it — guys like Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Gary Johnson, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, and Herman Cain.
We still have no idea why, but Rick Santorum says he'll officially announce his candidacy on June 6. By the time the primaries are over, he'll probably be the least successful candidate outside of Gary Johnson.
Bachmann told reporters last night that while she reserves the right to not run for president (obviously ...), she would probably officially declare her candidacy in June in her hometown of Waterloo, Iowa. Yes, Waterloo.
This looks like it could actually be happening. Palin certainly has a path probably the only one she'll ever have to the GOP nomination. But the only way she'd ever beat President Obama in a general election is if he's caught making out with Osama bin Laden.
Peter King claimed this week that Giuliani is "very close to saying he's going to run." That's intriguing, but actions speak louder than words, and Giuliani has done almost nothing so far to prepare for a run.
Roemer has been driving around early-voting states in an RV nicknamed the "Roemermobile." When the tank runs dry, he'll probably just ditch the RV and hitchhike home.
John Bolton insisted this week that Israel must never return to its pre-1967 borders, and also that his walrus mustache must never breach the border of his mouth again like it did last night while he was eating ice cream.
King has admitted that he's talking about running for president solely for the attention, dashing the hopes of the zero people who were taking this seriously.