President Obama and Seth Meyers mocked birthers and Donald Trump at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner last night. Heading onstage with Hulk Hogan’s anthem “Real American” playing and images of his birth certificate onscreen, the president began his speech by addressing claims that he wasn’t born in Hawaii. “In case there are any lingering questions tonight, I’m prepared to go a step further tonight,” he said. “For the first time, I am releasing my official birth video.” Then he played the opening of Disney’s The Lion King, which is actually really funny. Afterward, the president noted: “I want to make it clear to the Fox News table: That was a joke. That was not my birth video. That was a children’s cartoon.” Zing. Trump, the evening’s most popular punch line, was actually in the audience, a guest of the Washington Post. Letting it all sink in — either relishing the attention or feeling incredibly embarrassed, or neither — the Donald remained “stone-faced from his dinner table,” according to Politico. (Later, he told Daily Intel that the jokes were “not the greatest.”) Read the president’s jokes, watch a video of the speeches, and decide whether he’s the funniest comedian-in-chief ever or not, below:
The Best of President Obama’s Jokes:
On Donald Trump: “Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately but no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald. And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter, like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac? All kidding aside, we all know about your credentials, and your breadth of experience. For example, on a recent episode of Celebrity Apprentice, at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team did not impress the men from Omaha Steaks. There was lots of blame to go around, but you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. Ultimately, you didn’t blame [rapper] Lil Jon or [singer] Meatloaf, you fired Gary Busey. These are the kinds of decisions that keep me up at night. Well handled, sir! Well handled.”
On Michele Bachman: “Michele Bachmann is here. She is thinking about running for president, which is weird because I hear she was born in Canada. Yes, Michele, this is how it starts.”
On His Waning Popularity: “[Seth Meyers] is a young, fresh face who can do no wrong in the eyes of his fans. Seth, enjoy it while it lasts … Matt Damon recently said he was disappointed in my
policies performance. Well, Matt, I just saw The Adjustment Bureau, so right back at you, buddy!”
Host Seth Meyers’s Shots:
On Donald Trump: “Trump said he’s running as a Republican. Which is surprising: I just assumed he was running as a joke … Trump owns the Miss USA Pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline the search for a vice president … [Trump has] said he’s got a great relationship with ‘the blacks.’ Unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I bet he’s mistaken.”
On The Media: “C-SPAN is one unpaid electric bill away from being a radio station … Everyone knows how the MSNBC after-party goes: President Obama makes the Kool-Aid and everyone there drinks it … Brian Williams came to dinner because it has the element he respects the most: cameras.”
On Potential 2012 Republican Candidates: “As for a potential Republican field that could include Sarah Palin, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich and Trump, that doesn’t sound like a field of candidates – that sounds like season 13 of Dancing with the Stars. And not the stars, the dancers.”
On President Obama: “When you were sworn in you looked like the guy from the Old Spice commercials. Now you look like Louis Gosset Sr. If the president’s hair gets any whiter, the tea party is going to endorse it.”
The initial verdicts on Twitter to both Obama and Meyers were “overwhelmingly positive,” according to Politico. Oh, and spotted in the crowd this year: “Chicago Mayor-elect Rahm Emanuel, chumming it up with actor Jeremy Piven; Wolf Blitzer escorting actress Mila Kunis around the pre-dinner parties; and RNC Chairman Reince Priebus posing for photos with Matthew Morrison.” We’d love to eavesdrop on Blitzer and Kunis’ conversation.
Now watch the video.