Another 700 to 800 Canada geese are expected to be killed around New York City throughout the next several weeks to help prevent geese attacks against airplanes, the city Department of Environmental Protection announced Thursday. But this time around, the city's not saying where or when the murders will occur, perhaps because the last time they did that, some people haphazardly threw around the term "goose genocide," vehemently took the side of the geese, protested at public parks, and even encouraged the birds to escape. A group of people at Prospect Park, where about 400 geese were legendarily killed last summer, have actually set up a round-the-clock "goose watch" patrol aimed at thwarting a repeat of last year’s extermination. However, in its statement, the city specifically mentions that, while it will not say where the geese will be killed this year, it will not be — they repeat, will not be — in Prospect Park. The city dubiously claims that last year's Prospect Park goose roundup was "so effective" that "there's no need to do another one." But just as we were beginning to align ourselves with the city versus the geese, the exterminators went and insulted us by beating around the bush about their obvious plan to waylay further protests:
Officials refused to say which parks would be the targets of roundups. “One of [our] priorities is to reduce the stress on the animals,” said Farrell Sklerov, a spokesman for the city environmental protection department. “And so the locations are not given out in advance.”
It's really true: You guys simply want to reduce the pre-execution jitters for the animals you're murdering, so you won't tell them when you're coming. Got it. That's clear now.
Hundreds of Geese to Be Killed in Coming Weeks, City Says [City Room/NYT]
Related: Who Cries for the Goose Killer? [NYM]