In what seems like a rebuttal to the Human Rights Campaign, which has released dozens of ads featuring notable New Yorkers arguing for marriage equality people like Mayor Bloomberg, Larry King, and Barbara Bush, for example the anti-gay-marriage National Organization for Marriage has now released its own video starring ... David Tyree, the former Giants wide receiver who retired from the NFL in 2009 after a mediocre career punctuated by one ridiculously awesome helmet catch. For an unnecessarily long seven minutes, Tyree discusses his opposition to gay marriage, which includes this claim:
"If they pass this gay-marriage bill ... this will be the beginning of our country sliding toward, you know, it's a strong word, but anarchy."
We've all seen the rioting in the streets of Massachusetts, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa, and Connecticut since they legalized gay marriage. You can't set foot in those states without getting your eyes gouged out by marauding packs of wild gay ruffians.
Tyree also wonders if gay couples could ever be effective parents:
"You can't teach something that you don't have. So two men will never be able to show a woman how to be a woman. And that's just simple. That's just, for lack of better terms, common sense."
Common sense? By this logic, we should also outlaw single mothers from raising their sons, or single fathers from raising their daughters. Of course, Tyree himself was raised by a single mother. As for Tyree's own parenting skills, in 2004, he was busy getting arrested in New Jersey for possession of half a pound of marijuana, which he intended to sell, while his estranged girlfriend and the young son they had together were living up in Syracuse. He turned his life around when he found God and cleaned up, proving that one's heart, and not one's gender, is what makes a good parent.
Stick to using your helmet to catch inflatable leather balls, David Tyree.