Piper Palin Thinks This Is a Real Family Vacation

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Photo: Seth Wenig/AP

Here's something that might explain why Piper Palin felt compelled to shove her tiny 9-year-old body into a reporter in Philadelphia yesterday:

TIME correspondent Jay Newton-Small and photographer Dima Gavrysh followed Sarah Palin’s bus tour of historic sites up the eastern seaboard nearly 400 miles from Washington DC to New York City via Gettysburg and Philadelphia .... Her daughter Piper, however, didn’t appreciate all the media attention. “Thanks for ruining our vacation,” she said to our photographer.

Thanks for ruining our vacation? Oh no. Nobody told her. She doesn't realize that this is all just a publicity stunt specifically designed to attract press attention. That, far from tormenting her mother, the media's obsessive fascination is exactly what she craves more than anything in the world. Of course she hates the media. As Inigo Montoya dedicated his life to defeating the Six-Fingered Man, Piper will now, from this point on, spend her formative years methodically planning some kind of elaborate revenge against the media. You've been warned, media.

Chasing Sarah Palin’s One Nation Road Trip [Time via Daily Dish/Daily Beast]