The Head of Goldman Will Always Be Bald

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Photo: Bloomberg via Getty Images

David Solomon, the co-head of Goldman Sachs's investment-banking division, is a "dark-horse" candidate to replace Lloyd Blankfein on that distant day when he steps down, according to Reuters. "Some Goldman insiders believe that his low-key personality may be just the thing for a firm that has spent two years dodging charges of greed, conflicts of interest and fraud," supposedly, but we're pretty sure the board can't bear the thought of no longer gazing upon Lloyd's gleaming, glorious dome — like a temple to the spirit of finance, made manifest in lowly human flesh — and just want the next guy to look as much like him as possible. Don't believe us? Check out the supposed front-runner, Gary Cohn. Another likely candidate, J. Michael Evans, probably is praying his male-pattern situation takes a more serious turn over the next couple of years. And poor Michael Sherwood might be a "top revenue generator" and supposed Blankfein replacement possibility, but he's also generating a little too much in those follicles to get the brass ring, we fear.

Goldman's Solomon: Dark horse contender in CEO race [Reuters]