Crazy Thing Happening On The Subway alert! On Friday afternoon, a deranged man armed with a Phillips head screwdriver climbed inside a motorman’s window on the 5 train and told him, “Move the train or I’m going to fucking kill you.” Screwdriver Man (which also happens to be the name of the lamest superhero ever) was apparently under the impression that somebody with a gun was after him. (Was this hijacking approach of his even any faster than boarding the train normally and waiting five seconds for it to proceed on its own? That’s our question.) The scene turned chaotic — the motorman wrestling with Screwdriver Man, passengers pounding on the door, people screaming, etc. After a few minutes, the passengers and the motorman were able to calm Screwdriver Man, who seemed exhausted from all the action and just wanted to be arrested already. Which he was.