Hosni Mubarak Has Awoken From His Coma

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After a brief, failed attempt to leave all this behind, without unlawfully fleeing the country or dying, former Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak has regained consciousness from the coma he lapsed into on Sunday, according to doctors. The dethroned leader faces trial in August on charges he ordered police to kill anti-government protesters during the uprising that forced him from office in February. We imagine he was overjoyed to regain consciousness, before he recalled his current circumstances and thought, "Oh, fuck." [CNN] Earlier: Hosni Mubarak Is Dealing With His Emotional Pain Right Now