The former Real Housewife of D.C. went missing yesterday, much to the alarm of her husband Tareq. Was she back in the grip of her dangerous chocolate addiction, perhaps? Tareq thought his wife had been kidnapped (or told the press and police he thought so, anyway). She'd been gone all of six hours, and called him on her cell phone to tell him she was fine and headed to her mother's house during that time, by the way. But since her mother didn't know where Michaele was, Tareq panicked anyway.
The former house-husband of D.C. told NBC that his wife's "cryptic" behavior during the call made him think she was trying to convey a message to him in code, the way they'd play-acted in the past in case either one were, you know, kidnapped.
"I swear to God," Tareq told NBC, denying that the kidnap report was a publicity stunt. "I'm missing my wife," he sobbed, breaking down in tears. ...
The Sheriff's Department in Virginia's Warren County then issued a statement Wednesday afternoon saying essentially not to worry — officials had been in touch with Michaele and were confident nobody had been kidnapped.
"She seemed calm, was engaged in conversation, and assured the deputy that she had left the residence with a good friend and was where she wanted to be," authorities said. She allegedly didn't want her husband knowing where she was.
That "good friend" turned out to be Neal Schon, the guitarist from Journey, whom Michaele joined in Memphis for what was apparently a romantic tête-é-tête. Somehow, this is an appropriate end to this story, inasmuch as the word appropriate can ever be applied within a mile-wide radius of the Salahis.
Michaele Salahi: Kidnapping, no; Journey rocker Neal Schon, yes [Ministry of Gossip/LAT]