The Ten Best Lines From the Would-Be Obama Assassin’s Video Manifesto

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Ever since he was identified as the gunman who shot at the White House in an apparent assassination attempt on President Obama, many have wondered who this Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez is, and what motivated him. Conveniently, Ortega-Herandez filmed an audition tape for Oprah in September which also serves as something of a manifesto. The Idaho native, who is dressed in what appears to be a televangelist Halloween costume, makes no mention of President Obama in the video. But he does devote large chunks of time to the topics of competition, guardian angels, marijuana, and his role as mankind's messiah. In other words, it was a weird video. Since you probably don't have twenty minutes to spare, we've plucked out the ten best lines.

10. "When humans party, they party hard."

9. "If we don't have to die no more, than why would we measure time?"

8. "Just yesterday I got took into jail for something ridiculous: Because my dogs weren't displaying their tags."

7. "I believe that everybody has a guardian angel that is a past relative that controls every human's thoughts."

6. "I think the reason why we don't have inventors nowadays is because everybody is getting caught in these partying club lives, etcetera, or with females, or just too caught up in their jobs, because the economy sucks."

5. "God has spent a lot of his time on me, by just guiding me through life and making sure I have experienced almost everything there is to experience as a human being."

4. "Another ridiculous law is for fighting, when the majority of the fights are fought for legitimate reasons, like to get respect or to teach a lesson to someone." 

3. "It's not just a coincidence that I look like Jesus — I am the modern-day Jesus Christ that you all have been waiting for." 

2. "Please understand that I am totally sober right now and I will willingly pass a drug test for you."

1. "God gave us everything we need to live and enjoy life, like food to fuel, water to hydrate, sex for fun, horses for long-term transportation, and marijuana to inspire, and thrive, etcetera, for bigger and better things.