It’s Pretty Much Impossible to Be Jewish in America

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That seems to be the message coming from Israel's Ministry of Immigrant Absorption, which has produced a series of billboards and TV ads aimed at convincing Israeli expatriates in America to return home before America sucks the Jewishness out of them and everyone they love. In one ad, an Israeli woman lights a candle to recognize Israeli's version of Memorial Day, but her dumb, ponytailed, stoner American boyfriend thinks she just wants to bone.

As an aghast Jeffrey Goldberg explains at the Atlantic:

The narrator says, in essence, "they will never understand what it means to be Israeli." The narration leaves no room for the possibility that "Dafna," the Israeli girlfriend, could explain to the Josh-character (my name for him, though it could be Jeremy as well) why she's sad on Memorial Day.

In another ad, a pair of Israeli grandparents ask their grandchild over Skype what holiday she's celebrating. "Christmas!" she replies, because that's just what happens in America. Even if you want your kids to celebrate Hanukkah, they will celebrate Christmas.