The Real Reason All Those North Koreans Were So Sad

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Earlier today, we were dumbfounded by the outlandish intensity of the sobbing that greeted the funeral procession of Kim Jong-Il in Pyongyang. Could the North Korean people really have been that distraught by the death of such a tyrant? No, it turns out. A Daily Intel investigation has found that, in an effort to emotionally devastate the North Korea populace, the government placed giant TV screens along the funeral route — screens that played the most tear-inducing video clips they could come up with. An alternate camera angle secured by a Daily Intel source deep within the regime reveals, for the first time, precisely what made those North Koreans cry so hard today.