POSITION: Nuclear scientist.
LOCATION: Natanz uranium enrichment facility.
REQUIREMENTS: Must have knowledge of and familiarity with totally peaceful nuclear technology.
BENEFITS: Health insurance, employer-matched 401k, two weeks paid staycation, free access to in-house fitness center.
OTHER: Also, you’re probably going to be murdered by someone on a motorcycle.
TO APPLY: E-mail a résumé and cover letter to email@example.com.