Obama Will Lose, According to the Most Reliable Source in the World, a Mexican Warlock


"A Mexican warlock?" you say. "We might as well save ourselves the hassle and just hand over the White House keys to Mitt Romney now, so he can get started on making America great again." Makes sense, but hold on. How sure are we, really, that this Mexican warlock — Antonio Vasquez, also known as the so-called "Great Wizard" — knows what he's talking about?

The warlock has predicted events since 1980, but his record is not spot-on. In 2008, for example, he predicted Britney Spears' death.

You know what? Let's go ahead and have the election still, just in case.