Pale Male is, irrefutably, New York’s most famous hawk. Possibly even the world’s most famous hawk. He’s got a sweet pad on Fifth Avenue with a great view of the park, a history of hobnobbing with celebrities, and, even though he’s getting up there in years, the cameras still love him. Naturally, as any red-blooded man or red-tailed hawk in his situation would do, Pale Male has been known to get around. His nest has been filled with more babies than the Pitt-Jolie home. He’s broken more hearts than George Clooney. But Pale Male also goes in for serial monogamy — or he did for a while.
A long affair in the ‘9os with a hawk named First Love ended in apparent heartbreak when she ate a poisoned pigeon. Then, there was a bird named Blue who disappeared tragically after 9/11. The next longtime relationship, with a bird named Lola, ended in 2010 after she disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Then he took up with another paramour, the Ginger. Poor Ginger, with a name straight out of central casting, didn’t stick around too long, though. Total rebound. Pale Male soon threw her over for a little lady named Lima. But now, just about a year into their relationship, Lima’s been found dead, under circumstances that sound awfully similar to First Love’s. Cause of death: She appears to have partaken of the carcass of a poisoned rat.
Things happen in nature. We’ve watched the Nature Channel and that cute penguin documentary and that scary grizzly documentary. We read Call of the Wild in ninth grade. We’re willing to give Pale Male the benefit of the doubt. But all we’re saying is that the news that he’s already been spotted out and about with a new mate doesn’t look great for him. P.M., word to the wise: Next time — and we have a sinking feeling there will be a next time — wait a few days before soaring out on the town with that new ladyfriend.