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loners

People Who Live Alone Never Feel Judged

A glass of sparkling champagne Shower accessory.

People who live alone, without roommates or romantic partners, feel free to be you and me, without suffering under the judgmental eye of society. They do things they might not do if they lived with other people, according to a New York Times article that brings those "quirky" habits  (or, as they are alternately titled "Secret Single Behavior") to the attention of the judgmental eye of society. For instance, they pee with the door open. They sing Journey while they shower. They leave lingerie on the kitchen table. They become extremely set in their ways. They eat weird things, at weird times. They wear unattractive clothing, like a pair of "white flax bloomers." They talk to someone or something — often a pet — that doesn't talk back. Now, we're willing to acknowledge that living alone is a distinct experience that breeds distinctive characteristics, but replace "pet" with "partner," and many of those sound an awful lot like things that people in long-term, cohabiting relationships do.

In fact, our favorite secret alone behavior in the article came from a guy who lives with his girlfriend, 29-year-old Chad Griffith. As anyone with roommates well knows, when alone time is a treat, you enjoy it to the hilt. Griffith calls these moments The Days of Chad, and he really does it up.

“I’ve been known to drink Champagne in the shower at 8 a.m.,” Mr. Griffith said. “I’ll play Madden NFL Football for 10 hours straight, eat a French bread pizza for every meal of the day.”

But living alone is a skill that takes management, and Mr. Griffith has found he isn’t very good at it. The Days of Chad, he said, are about all he can handle.

“I literally have zero self-control,” he said. “If I lived alone and didn’t have somebody to monitor me, I’d be a fat, out-of-work alcoholic.”

Cheers, Chad!

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