Things Snakes Don’t Mind: All-Natural Bathroom Cleanser

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Does not work on snakes.
Does not work on snakes.

Ecofriendly cleaning products are becoming increasingly common these days — probably, we're assuming — but society's shift away from storing poisonous chemicals within easy reach can have some unforeseen drawbacks. For example, if you live on Staten Island and find a four-foot-long California Kingsnake in your toilet, your bathroom cleanser will no longer be an effective weapon, as 33-year-old Allen Shepard found out Tuesday morning:

"I came out [of the bathroom] and closed the door and I got a broom. The snake was getting up on top of the rim, ready to strike," said the terrified tenant, who was alone in the flat.

The hissing snake struck at the broom and wouldn't let go.

Shepard knew he was next on the menu.

Angry but still ecofriendly, he grabbed a bottle of Clorox Greenworks and sprayed the monster with it.

The California King wasn't impressed.

Of course it wasn't impressed! Being sprayed with Clorox Greenworks, with its refreshing "plant- and mineral-based cleaning ingredients," was probably the most pleasant experience that snake has had in a long time. In a cruel twist of irony, our devotion to the environment has left us defenseless against nature's predators. The playing field between man and beast is level once more. Nobody is safe.