Most fad fitness routines that catch on in New York involve elements of starvation and fierce competition against your peers. Which is why we think that, just maybe, the Hunger Games-themed class that New York Sports Club is running for a month might wind up outlasting the film's run in theaters. Here's how it works:
The tributes (or competitors) each claim a spot in the studio to be our home base, or pedestal.
We are shown the four exercises we’ll have to do at our stations (from jumping jacks to modified crunches) before sprinting around the room.
Finishing all five tasks counts as completing a circuit. The tribute who does the most circuits in the class’ allotted time wins and is given a mockingjay pin like the one Katniss wears.
Sound simple enough? The Gamemaker randomly shakes things up by throwing sudden “disasters” at us, like imaginary fireballs and mutant dog attacks.
These force us to tackle tougher tasks, like pulling ourselves up on the TRX band to “escape” the dogs.
Of course, gym wars being what they are in this city, it won't be long before someone opens a dedicated space in Tribeca that just runs Hunger Games workouts, adds some scented candles, charges $35 a pop, and makes those fireballs and dogs real, not imaginary.
Then one instructor will defect and start her own studio in the resource-rich district to the east of the island's central wilderness, undercut at $32, and lay out poisoned berries to tempt her weaker students' mettle. Pretty soon, the whole city will just be a snarling dystopian mess of people with scarily sculpted arms stabbing each other with knives at close range. Which will please not just Hunger Games obsessives and Madonna, but also all those people who can't stop talking about how it was so much better here in the seventies.