Skip to content, or skip to search.

Skip to content, or skip to search.

party report

Tim Tebow Trade Proves Unimpressive to New York City Cultural Elite

Between bidding on one-of-a-kind art books, sipping Moët and munching on Del Posto’s hors d’oeuvres, attendees at Wednesday’s Lunchbox Fund benefit chattered about Tim Tebow’s trade to the Jets. “Oh, I hate that he’s coming to the Jets,” artist Chuck Close declared in a heartwarming display of New York crankiness. “I hate it! He’s going to be in the end zone praying? This is New York. He should go do that in, uh, the Midwest somewhere. I don’t like that at all.”

Author Jay McInerney voiced similar concerns. “I think he picked the wrong town! This is not really home turf for born-again Christians, you know? I just don’t know if that prayer stuff is going to go down as well here as it does in Middle America.” But the author admitted that there is an upside to the trade. “Hey, but if he can help the Jets I’m all for it!”

Upon hearing the news, actress Piper Perabo immediately bent her elbow, Tebow-style. “I really like doing the move, so I’ll be happy if he comes because then we can all be doing that a lot more,” she said. “I think it’s really cool. It’s sort of like The Thinker, but a football version.”

Scotsman Alan Cumming was eager to show off his sports knowledge when Daily Intel brought up the devout Tebow. “He’s not the one who salsas?” Cumming asked. We explained, and the actor said while he has not yet seen Tebow’s on-field prayer stance, he hopes the quarterback will rely on his talent and skills rather than on religion. “I’m not really a football kind of guy,” Cumming said. “I’ve seen the one doing the salsa if that helps.” 

0
Photo-Illustration: Nick Laham/Getty Images, Jim Rogash/Getty Images,Nick Laham