Zombies Attacking President Obama

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Photo: Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images, Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images, Jewel Samad/AFP/Getty Images, Mario Tama/Getty Images

Not that you'll hear it reported by the so-called "media," but President Obama has been attacked on a regular basis by hordes of zombies since the moment he stepped into the national spotlight. Amazingly, Obama manages to remain relatively calm during these life-threatening zombie encounters, sometimes smiling and waving to the zombies or even cavalierly shaking a zombie hand or two for the cameras. While Obama has, miraculously, avoided contamination so far, it's unclear why he continues to hold events in zombie-dense areas in the first place, or why the Secret Service allows him to get so close to creatures that would like nothing more than to tear him apart and feast on his organs.

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) greets the crowd after appearing with Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY)  June 27, 2008 in Unity, New Hampshire.
Photo: Mario Tama/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama greets supporters after speaking at a rally for Congressman Tom Perriello, D-Va, in Charlottesville, Virginia
Photo: JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images
Democratic presidential candidate Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) greets supporters following a rally at East Carolina University April 17, 2008 in Greenville, North Carolina.
Photo: Scott Olson/Getty Images
Democratic presidential nominee U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) greets people during a campaign rally October 21, 2008 in Miami, Florida.
Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama greets supporters as he arrives to speak on his proposed American Jobs Act September 27, 2011 at Abraham Lincoln High School in Denver, Colorado.
Photo: MANDEL NGAN/AFP/Getty Images
US Democratic presidential candidate Illinois Senator Barack Obama greets supporters at the end of a rally at the Richmond Coliseum in Richmond, Virgina, on October 22, 2008.   AFP PHOTO/Emmanuel Dunand (Photo credit should read EMMANUEL DUNAND/AFP/Getty Images)
Photo: EMMANUEL DUNAND/2008 AFP
Democratic presidential nominee U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) greets people during a campaign rally at Bank Atlantic Center Arena
Photo: Joe Raedle/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama (TopC) greets fans as he visits Moneygall village in rural County Offaly, Ireland
Photo: AFP/Getty Images
Democratic presidential candidate U.S. Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) greets people in a crowd of more than 18,000 during a rally at the Key Arena
Photo: Stephen Brashear/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama greets students after speaking on energy and the economy following a tour of the Industrial Assessment Center at the University of Miami
Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images
Democratic U.S. Presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) greets the crowd at Irvine Park August 29, 2008 in Beaver, Pennsylvania.
Photo: Justin Merriman/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama greets students and other attendees after speaking at the University of Michigan
Photo: JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images
US President Barack Obama greets students after speaking on energy use and the economy following a tour of the Industrial Assessment Center at the University of Miami
Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images