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sex diaries

The Gay Guy Who Likes Watching Straight Porn

Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek behind doors left slightly ajar. This week, the Gay Guy Who Likes Watching Straight Porn: Male, 25, Astoria, fund-raiser at nonprofit, gay, engaged, and in an open relationship.

DAY ONE

6:30 a.m. Make myself get out of bed to go to the gym. My cat helps by nudging and greeting me. My fiancé is still asleep. He has the day off even though it's the middle of the week. Lucky! Don't want to go to the gym now but know I won't have time later and at least it's been unseasonably warm.

7:15 a.m. Scoping people out at the gym. No one that great there this morning. Probably all the hot guys are out running in Astoria Park. Some guys with nice hairy legs — I'm a sucker for those — suffice as a motivation to go faster on the elliptical.

7:30 a.m. As I'm walking back home, a sweaty mess, I see a past hookup on the street. He's with a friend and smiles as we pass, I do a slight nod. He's still looking pretty good and I remember he had a great hairy butt.

11 a.m. Get bored at work and decide to post a Craigslist ad. The ad is simple and to the point. Along the lines of, "I have my apartment to myself and looking for some 'Sunday Fun,'" and I outline what I'm into and what I’m looking for. I make very clear that pictures are a must. I won't let someone come over without knowing they're worth it first. I reassure people by posting a headless shot and telling them I have more pics to trade. Something has got to come through.

Noon Didn't get many responses. Generally if you don't post a picture you won't. No one seems too committed anyhow. Same thing on Scruff. Talk to this guy who's in an open relationship and just got home from Chicago. He's sexy and horny but disappears just when the conversation seems to be going somewhere.

5:30 p.m. Go with my co-worker to meet up with my fiancé and my co-worker's partner. Have a good vegan dinner.

7:30 p.m. Arrive at LGBT fund-raiser with my group. I know a lot of the people, good to see them all again. My fiancé, coworker, and coworker's partner will all be volunteering our help tonight.

8:15 p.m. We all made friends with another volunteer. He's pretty cute, has something slightly off facially, but a really nice guy. He fits in well with our conversation and he smells good. Think if there's a way my fiancé and I could wrangle him into a threesome. He seems open to it, but then I find out he lives in the Bronx. Don't think it'd really be possible to work that out.

10 p.m. After-party has begun, as have the open bar and desserts. I'm about three drinks in and no desserts, because they're not vegan. I'm dancing a bit as I talk with my group. I suddenly feel my ass being grabbed. I turn around and it's a major donor. He's super cute and probably in his early thirties. I'd bang him in a heartbeat and I think he has a thing for me too. We make some small talk about me getting involved with the work at this place. Gosh he's cute. He knows I think so because almost every gay man in the room thinks so. But I also realize that once we had sex, his interest in me would wane significantly. So I have to be careful. I thank him for coming over and turn back to my friends.

11:15 p.m. My fiancé and I discuss the evening on the subway. He agrees with me about the guy who came to talk to me at the event. Also advises that it's better to keep him wanting to have sex rather than actually have sex with him. Our own sexual relationship has diminished over seven years, but at this point we openly please our sexual needs outside each other mostly. It works for us, no jealousy, and our rules are clear that it doesn't go beyond sex with any other person.

11:30 p.m. We get off the train and I feel a hand on my back. Turn and see it's our friend. We both hug and kiss him on the cheek. He's wearing a very low-cut tank top, completely exposing his best asset, his very hairy and sexy chest. I'm a bit tipsy at this point and I almost just reach out to feel it. But we are still in a subway station; I don't want to display too much homoeroticism in public. He says he's off to the grocery store. After he leaves I wish I had invited him back to our place for a threeway.


DAY TWO

6:45 a.m. Wake up tired from last night, but still horny. Look on Grindr and Scruff for two minutes while I have breakfast. Realize as horny as I am, I really don't have time before work.

11 a.m. Go on Scruff. Talk to the hairy guy back from Chicago again. Seems like he may be down for an after lunch thing. We swap numbers and say we'll text later.

1:15 p.m. I text him. Get no response.

1:45 p.m. Friend/past hookup buddy hits me up on text. I ask him to switch to e-mail so we can complain about how horny we are and swap exaggerated sexual missed-encounter stories.

2:20 p.m. Flaky guy from Scruff reappears. He's ready to go in ten minutes and can host super close by. I'm down.

3:06 p.m. I'm back in the office. He was good, a little awkward. But he's hairy, in decent shape, and sucked decently and bottomed well enough. So I'm good. Though now I'm paranoid I smell like sex and I'm super in need of a nap.

3:32 p.m. Sexy Latino guy with backwards hat, tattoos, and a nicely built chest comes to drop off food for one of my bosses. I'm horny again and completely want to jump him.

4:45 p.m. Get a text from a guy I talked to on adam4adam a few weeks ago. We keep missing each other and then he hurt one of his nuts playing a sport. So we decide to let it heal and then play. I get ready to go home.

DAY THREE

1 p.m. Realize how unhorny I am today. Think it's kind of odd. This realization of course starts to make me horny.

3 p.m. Waiting behind my co-worker to get some water. I really am not attracted to him and actually find him quite annoying. He never does anything particularly bad, just something about him irks me. He's got a great butt though and I've noticed this before. While we're waiting, I decide to entertain myself by taking it in fully. It really is very juicy and round. Decide to picture pounding him hard. Would be fun, but I know instantly regrettable.

10 p.m. Calling it an early night because even though tomorrow is Saturday I have a ton of stuff to do. Jerk off to some straight porn. Something about a girl with great boobs bouncing up and down on a hairy guy is just so hot. It's the only thing that makes me ever think about getting involved sexually with a woman.


DAY FOUR

8 a.m. On my way to Jersey with my fiancé and his mother to pick up our wedding bands. So not thrilled about being awake at this hour on a Saturday.

Noon Stop at my fiancé's cousin's house. Decide to wait outside in the car and read my book. Contemplate going on Grindr to see who would be around. Then realize what's the point, it's not like I can just walk off for a hookup. It's a pretty Portuguese neighborhood and I definitely enjoy taking in some of the younger guys walking around.


DAY FIVE

9 a.m. Just woke up. Decide to hit up Grindr, adam4adam, and post a Craigslist ad. Something has got to come through.

10:30 a.m. Very minimal results and already had to deal with a bitchy guy who wouldn't unlock his pics even though he asked me to. I have a face and upper body visual and I have two pics. He has one and no face showing. Why should I unlock first?

11 a.m. Decide I am going to do the opposite of what I do with most of my Sundays and just jerk off and stop looking for sex.

Noon Decide to try out this new DVD workout program I bought for my fiancé because he wanted it for his birthday. I could use it a lot more than he could. Despite going to the gym three to four times a week it totally kicks my butt. But the guy on it is cute and it's pretty hot when he's showing one of the moves and pretty much feels another guy's butt.

3 p.m. I've jerked off three times. Once to a porn involving a massage that becomes sexual. The other two were to videos found on a "Homoerotic Moments in Straight Porn" forum. I don't know why but there is nothing hotter than two straight guys who are just so turned on during sex that they don't even care if they start caressing each other or accidentally lick each other's balls, etc.

DAY SIX

5 p.m. The whole day has gone by without me thinking about sex or porn. What an odd situation.

6 p.m. I'm back home and doing the second day of that workout program. Now there are multiple guys and the shirts are coming off. This is hot.

7 p.m. Quickly shower so I can try to get a jerk-off session in before the fiancé is home.

7:20 p.m. Start scanning through porn, I'm back at the "Homoerotic Moments in Straight Porn" forum and I'm also pleased to see someone has responded to my postings in the "Hairy Men in Straight Porn" forum. I also log on to adam4adam just in case something good may pop up and convince me to go for a quick trip instead of jacking off.

7:50 p.m. No one good has come through and I have quite a few TV shows I enjoy this evening. I decide to pop a load before the fiancé is home at 8. I wind up deciding to finish to a porn of a cute guy with a hairy ass doing a girl missionary style. I finish first thinking about plowing him while he plows her, then mid-orgasm switch to the idea of being penetrated by the guy from the fund-raiser a few days ago.


DAY SEVEN

8:15 a.m. I get on the subway and a really cute guy is standing there. I feel like he may be checking me out. I stand closer and closer to see if he'll make a move, rub, wink, etc. He makes a lot of eye contact. I planned to get off at Times Square and transfer, but I could also transfer at 14th Street and decide to see where this goes. He gets off at 34th Street without having made a move and I wish I had just gotten off at Times Square.

11 a.m. I'm totally sexually frustrated at work and decide to do something to entertain myself. I post a provocative Craigslist ad pretending to be a woman wanting sex at work. I allude to something about "eating me out" under the desk. I’m turned on and curious by what type of straight man likes to just service like that.

11:20 a.m. It's amazing how many straight men are ready to go. It's really not fair.

11:30 a.m. My ad is flagged. Which is fair since it is a phony ad, but I would've probably done like half the guys who responded. Wish I was a woman; I'd have so much more sex.

12:30 p.m. Have to meet my fiancé to go down to City Hall for our marriage certificate before our wedding.

1:30 p.m. The guy who helps us is pretty cute, but very straight. We get our certificate and it feels really right. As we walk out we're very happy.

3 p.m. I'm back in the office and I'm unexpectedly getting messages from Scruff. I check and realize somehow I logged on without realizing it. I hate that. I feel like people will start to think of me as one of those guys who is always on.

5:15 p.m. Get out of work and meet my fiancé for an art talk two of his friends are giving.

7 p.m. We go to the art talk. A lot of art school students are there. Certainly some cute guys.

9 p.m. Get home and make myself do my workout, even though I'm exhausted. It's a cardio recovery day, so it's not too bad.

10 p.m. Get into bed and do some reading, while my fiancé flips through his vegan cookbook looking for recipes for the next week.

11 p.m. We're both tired and turn off the lights for an early night.

11:30 p.m. Realize it got pretty cold and snuggle up close to my fiancé and take him in my arms.

TOTALS: Two Craigslist ads; one lunchtime hook up; one butt grab; one marriage certificate; one nighttime snuggle session.

Would you like to take part in the glorious tradition that is the New York Magazine sex diaries? Just send an e-mail to sexdiaries@nymag.com with your contact information and why you think you'd make a good diarist. If you've got what it takes, we'll be in touch!

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