The following conversation was recorded early this morning by a wiretap that Daily Intel has embedded deep inside the whirpool of hair that resides on Donald Trump's head:

High-ranking Romney aide: Listen, Donald, enough with the birther stuff. It's killing us.

Donald Trump: But I ...

High-ranking Romney aide: Donald, no. It's gotta stop. Your support for the birther movement is making us look bad.

Donald Trump: Got it. I won't say anything more about the birther movement.

High-ranking Romney aide: Why did you emphasize the word birther so much just now?

Donald Trump: No reason.