Michelle and Mark Schimel, a middle-aged Long Island couple, are having marital problems. They haven't actually gotten divorced yet, but last year, in year 32 of their union, they decided to separate. This is none of our business and we'd file it under completely ordinary, if sad — except that in year 33 of their marriage Mark decided to challenge Michelle for the state assembly seat she's occupied for two previous terms. Michelle is a Democrat, and so naturally, Mark is running on the GOP ticket, with a campaign local Republican officials promise will be "dignified" and "issue-oriented." Sure, we believe that, if we're counting "who did the bulk of the dishes in the Schimel household at the last three dinner parties they threw?" as an issue that's important to Long Island voters.
So, does Mark have a chance? The Daily News reached out to an esteemed political commentator for insight into how the race might shake out.
“You’re joking,” Irma Schimel said when she learned of her son’s plans by the Daily News.
“This is a really startling thing. It’s a shock. Why would he do this?” [...] “I love her very much,” Irma Schimel said. “I can’t believe he’d do a thing like this. I’m going to talk to him.” [...] “He’ll never win anything against Michelle,” Irma Schimel predicted. “They (the voters) love her.”
If you can't count on your mother or your wife to vote for you ... well, that's a rough campaign ahead.