This Man Beat President Obama in Ten West Virginia Counties

By
Keith Judd.

This is the face and hair and ponytail of a fighter. They told him it couldn't be done. They said to him, "Hey, Keith Judd, why are you trying to run for president in West Virginia against President Obama, when you are, after all, an inmate in a Texas federal prison? That makes little to no sense." But Judd ignored his haters, and though he didn't beat Obama in West Virginia's primary last night, he put in a damn good effort, capturing 40.6 percent of the vote and 10 of West Virginia's 55 counties. His impressive showing earned him at least one delegate at the Democratic National Convention this September.

But hold up — shockingly, Judd's West Virginia operation was not totally, completely thorough:

Attracting at least 15 percent of the vote would normally qualify a candidate for a delegate to the Democratic National Convention. But state Democratic Party Executive Director Derek Scarbro said no one has filed to be a delegate for Judd. The state party also believes that Judd has failed to file paperwork required of presidential candidates, but officials continue to research the matter, Scarbro said.

Nevertheless, we believe — in the interest of, uh, democracy, or whatever — the Democratic powers that be must grant Judd his delegate, and also insist that his delegate wear his hair like that at the convention, also for democracy.