Apparently LSD Can Turn You Into a Face-Eating Zombie Now

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An old mugshot of Rudy Eugene.

If the recent LSD episode of Mad Men has you thinking of trying the drug for the first time, first consider whether you're prepared for the possibility that, in addition to (SPOILER!) facilitating a mutual breakup with your significant other, your trip may give you the urge to strip naked and eat a human face. This decidedly un-mellow side effect of LSD is one of the explanations being put forward to explain a a gruesome and absolutely bat-shit-insane incident that took place alongside a Miami highway on Saturday. (SPOILER!: This may very well spoil your appetite for the rest of the day forever.)

The naked man who tried to eat another man’s face before he was shot dead by police was identified Monday.

Police sources confirmed that the attacker was 31-year-old Rudy Eugene. His name was first reported by WPLG-ABC 10....

The macabre scene unfolded about 2 p.m. Saturday on the MacArthur Causeway’s off-ramp to Biscayne Boulevard just south of the Miami Herald building. A Road Ranger spotted the men and shouted on his loudspeaker for the naked attacker to back away.

One witness said he was riding his bicycle on the MacArthur when he saw a man tearing off pieces of the victim’s flesh with his mouth. After an officer approached, Larry Vega told WSVN-FOX7, “The guy just stood, his head up like that, with pieces of flesh in his mouth. And he growled.” ....

[A]n officer approached and told Eugene to get off his victim, but Eugene ignored the order and kept chewing, even after the officer shot him once.

The officer fired again, hitting him several more times, eventually killing him.

The poor victim, an unidentified homeless man, is in critical condition, and though he may prefer to not be saved, at this point — "much of his face was gone, the skin ripped away, the nose bitten and the eyes gouged," the Miami Herald says — Sergeant Javier Ortiz of the Miami police union says he hopes the man survives "so he can tell us what happened."

Indeed, a motive for this bizarre and gruesome attack isn't yet known, but another Miami police honcho suspects that the autopsy on Eugene will find LSD in his system, according to the Miami New Times:

[Armando] Aguilar, president for the Fraternal Order of Police, tells Banana Republican that Eugene exhibited signs he was high on LSD, as well as symptoms for "excited delirium," a controversial syndrome that supposedly turns drug users (primarily cocaine enthusiasts) into raging and almost unstoppable incredible Hulks. "I'm going by similarities in other cases of excited delirium I've researched in the last couple of days," Aguilar says.

Aguilar has been telling local media outlets that Eugene may have overdosed on LSD, citing four previous instances in Miami-Dade when people ingested too much acid, removed their clothes, and became violent....

In another incident in West Miami, Aguilar says police had to subdue a man who was trying to bite his neighbors and who had punched the exterior walls of his house so hard that his knuckles were stripped to the bone.

Not becoming a flesh-eating zombie is my anti-drug.