Mitt Romney Apologizes for That Horrible Thing He Can’t Remember

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The Cranbrook School? Doesn't ring a bell. Photo: JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/GettyImages

Only hours after a Washington Post story portrayed Mitt Romney as a teenage monster, the greatly matured presidential candidate responded in an interview on the Kilmeade & Friends radio show with a two-pronged approach: Firstly, emphasizing that his high-school years were a long time ago, and secondly, apologizing for the horrible things he can't remember doing. He used this approach again ...

“They talked about the fact that I played a lot of pranks in high school, and they described some that, boy, you just say to yourself, back in high school, you know, I did some dumb things. If anyone was hurt by that or offended by that, obviously I apologize. But overall, high school years were a long time ago,” Romney said on the “Kilmeade & Friends” radio program.

... and again ...

“I don't remember that incident and I certainly don't believe I or — I can't speak for other people of course — thought he was homosexual. That was the furthest thing from my mind back in the 1960s, so that was not the case. But as to pranks that were played back then, but high school days, I did stupid things, and I'm afraid I have to say sorry for it,” Romney said.

... and again ...

"But as to the teasing and the taunts that go on in high school, that’s a long time ago, for me it's 48 years ago. Again, if there’s anything I said that was offensive to anyone, I certainly am sorry for that, very deeply sorry about that. No harm intended.”

Romney's apology comes a little too late for John Lauber, the gay kid whose alternative haircut so offended him — he died from liver cancer in 2004. But you never know — maybe Romney's blanket mea culpa just got him crossed off a "People to Kill" list somewhere.

One of the lasting effects of the Post's story is that Ann Romney will probably stop telling us that her husband is still "the boy that I met in high school when he was playing all the jokes and really just being crazy."

“I'm a very different person than I was in high school," Romney himself countered today. "I'm glad I learned as much as I did during those high school years … but I can tell you I'm quite a different guy now."