Well, it's been a good run. The people of Earth developed agriculture, composed symphonies, traveled into space, and invented a high-tech porn-distribution device that could also be used to watch cat videos, but now it's all over. The zombie apocalypse — the one we've all feared for the past couple of years or so, whenever Walking Dead premiered — has finally begun.
It's subtle. If you look out your window right now, you won't see a herd of decomposed, blood-soaked zombies lumbering down the middle of the street. Not yet. But the evidence is there, if you're willing to piece it all together.
A naked and growling Rudy Eugene was shot dead by police whilst eating a man's face over the weekend.
A 43-year-old Hackensack man "stabbed himself repeatedly in front of police" on Sunday night, then "threw his skin and intestines at them."
The Resurrection of the Dead
In March, a 95-year-old Chinese woman who had been presumed dead for six days rose up out of her coffin which, according to Chinese tradition, was open and on display in her home and made herself some coffee.
A zombie straight-up walked into a New York art gallery earlier this month.
- 1. Uber Might Be More Valuable Than Facebook Someday. Here’s Why
- 2. Matt Zoller Seitz’s 10 Best TV Shows of 2013
- 3. David Edelstein’s 10 Best Movies of 2013
- 4. Where It Hurts: Steve McQueen on Why 12 Years a Slave Isn’t Just About Slavery
- 5. Jody Rosen’s 10 Best Pop Albums of 2013
- 6. Joe Jonas: My Life As a Jonas Brother
- 7. Rashida Jones Was a Whore Between 2007 and 2011
- 8. How the New York Times Got Scooped on Its Own Story
- 9. Saturday Night Live Recap: Paul Rudd’s Midnight Delight