Former Florida Governor Charlie Crist Responds to Rumors of Gayness and Drunk Golf-Carting

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Crist, after losing the Senate race to Marco Rubio in 2010. (Gerardo Mora/Getty Images) Photo: Gerardo Mora/2010 Getty Images

A leaked Florida investigative report that has been making its way through state political circles over the past few days alleges that former Florida Governor Charlie Crist had at least two homosexual affairs, paid the men he was involved with to leave the state, and struggled with a serious drinking problem while in office — one particular episode supposedly involved Crist drunkenly rampaging around in a golf cart. The report (which, keep in mind, could very well be totally full of lies) details e-mail and phone conversations between Crist's law partner, John Morgan, and Damon Chase, an attorney for former Republican GOP chairman James Greer, who's currently facing six felony charges related to fund-raising fraud. Chase apparently told Morgan that if Crist didn't change his affidavit and falsely claim that he knew about Greer's compensation arrangement, that these "embarrassing" details — including Greer's claim that Crist once tried to kiss him in a Beverly Hills hotel — would see the light of day. Obviously, that threat rings rather hollow right now.

Morgan's rightfully disdainful response was that (a) these revelations, even if true, are merely "inflammatory statements designed to embarrass" and not sufficient to impeach the former governor's testimony, and that (b) if Crist were in fact gay then "he would have to be a sick son of a bitch to try to kiss Porky the Pig."

Charlie Crist himself weighed in, calling up a local Tampa Bay reporter last night to tar the whole situation as "a bunch of delusional lies," and further reiterated his intent to tell the whole truth about Greer's alleged wrongdoings.