What happened to Michael Steele's mustache?
a. It retired.
b. It was stolen and resold on the black market.
c. It was singed off in a tragic weekend flambé accident.
d. It withered and died after Steele forgot to water it for a couple of weeks.
Answer: (e) It was shaved off in a nod to bipartisanship, because both Democrats and Republicans agree that mustaches are ridiculous.