New Yorkers Celebrate Communal Day of Misery

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Bernice Acosta and other enthusiasts practice yoga in Times Square during an event marking the summer solstice on June 21, 2011 in New York City. Photo: Mario Tama/Getty Images

A group of spandex-wearing, desperate people have gathered in Times Square on this, the longest 92-degree day of the year, to put themselves at the mercy of the Sun God to beg for mass ascension from this cruel, crowded earth. Ra has thus far been deaf to their coordinated prayers.