In just the past week, a naked man ate a homeless guy's face in Miami, a New Jersey man threw his intestines at police, a Canadian porn star killed a man and ate parts of his body before mailing other parts to government officials, a Maryland man killed his roommate and ate his heart and brain, and a Staten Island pizza parlor owner nommed a dude's ear. It seems clear that this sudden burst of zombie activity points inexorably to the beginning of the end for mankind. But we started to wonder this morning — from inside our fortified, WiFi enabled, mountainside bunker — whether the only thing that's changed is that, in the wake of the headline-grabbing Miami incident, we've suddenly started paying a lot more attention to zombie-esque stories than we had in the past. After digging around, we found that while the frequency of cannibal stories over the past week is unusual, this kind of stuff happens fairly regularly. Here is a rundown of what we've found from just the past six months.
"Police in southwest China have detained a man suspected of murdering more than a dozen boys and young men, chopping up their bodies and selling the flesh to unsuspecting consumers, reports said Friday."
"A Swiss politician has been accused of advertising for cannibals to kill and eat the mother and daughter of a policeman friend going through a 'tricky' divorce."
"Police have arrested three people for allegedly killing at least two women, eating parts of their bodies and using their flesh to make stuffed pastries known as empanadas that they sold to neighbors in their northeastern Brazil city."
"A 79-year-old man accused of killing his wife ate some of her flesh and was found sitting in a rocking chair in their Shrewsbury apartment, covered in blood, a prosecutor said Friday."
"Russian police have arrested a man who admitted killing at least six people before eating their hearts and livers, media said."
"A Russian man killed a drinking partner after he and his friends ran out of snacks at a vodka party - then sold the leftovers as pork at a market. The 35-year-old admitted stabbing his fellow drinker, 41, to death before slicing flesh off the corpse, which he cooked and ate, police said."
"Serbian gangsters allegedly beat a traitorous associate to death with a hammer before cooking and eating his remains in Spain, police said."
"A Florida man has been arrested for allegedly hacking to death a Connecticut man and eating the victim's eye and part of his brain."
"Police say a man in Indiana accused of stealing a car threatened to hunt down and eat his arresting officers, their families and police dogs."
In a weird way, it's kind of a relief. The world isn't ending! People actually eat other people all the time! Of course, the bad news is that people eat other people all the time.
Most Viewed Stories
How Fox News Fired and Silenced a Female Reporter Who Alleged Sexual Harassment
Marvel vs DC: Which Superhero Movies Won Comic-Con?
Exclusive: MH370 Pilot Flew a Suicide Route on His Home Simulator Closely Matching Final Flight
America Has Never Been So Ripe for Tyranny
Watch All of the Trailers Released at San Diego Comic-Con
Viola Davis’s Reaction to Jared Leto is All of Us
The Case for Tim Kaine
Ian McShane Has No Regrets About Spoiling Game of Thrones
Ivanka’s RNC Dress Was From Her Own Line — But It Wasn’t Made in the U.S.
When Did the Media Turn Against Taylor Swift?
Latest News from Daily IntelligencerWhat You Need to Know About the Democratic National Convention
Protests, current and former presidents, and a far more positive message than what we saw in Cleveland.Fresh Intelligence: Today Is a Terrible Day for Debbie Wasserman Schultz, And a Vindicating Day for Sanders Supporters
Our roundup of the stories, ideas, and memes you’ll be talking about today.Tim Kaine Doesn’t Mind Being Third Wheel to Two President Clintons
Kaine didn’t look like Clinton’s hostage on 60 Minutes, so compared to the Trump-Pence interview it was wildly successful.113 Journalists Surveyed on Why They’re So Despised
Our colleagues working in print, television, and digital media air their grievances and bare their souls.The Case Against the Media, by the Media
A damning self-examination, with some uplift thrown in.Buzzfeed’s Ben Smith on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"If you want to please people, you’re in the wrong line of work."Huffington Post’s Arianna Huffington on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"The mainstream media suffers from ADD — they cover a story and then they abandon it."National Report’s Allen Montgomery on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"I think I have a really bad reputation. But I’m a really nice guy! People have bashed me. I’m used to all that."Journalist Ana Marie Cox on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"That’s the way our business works: You have to be entertaining."Fusion’s Alexis Madrigal on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"I think the media has been too afraid to just say, 'You’re a racist.'"
"The free-content-plus-ads model in general is not working. The rise of clickbait and its ensuing decline is in fact evidence of this."Jezebel’s Clover Hope on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"There’s this idea that the woman can’t possibly be real, which is a little bit of an issue."The Marshall Project’s Bill Keller on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"The most troublesome tension is the one between the need to file immediately, because a thousand other people are filing immediately, and the time it takes to do real reporting."
"We can only make things exciting if they’re, like, happening in front of us with funny hats."The Washington Post’s Bob Woodward What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"If there’s something that one of the candidates did that we learn about in somebody’s memoir in 20 years, that really was essential to understanding who they are — that means we failed, in my view."The Washington Post’s Erik Wemple on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"More so than the newspapers, more so than radio stations, more so than any other segment of the media, [networks] are tremendously allergic to on-the-record accountability."The Wire’s David Simon on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"The problem for journalism is: Our actual problems are bigger, more complicated, more sprawling and complex than good guys and bad guys. And the solutions, such as they are, are often to be found somewhere in the middle."Former New York Times Public Editor Daniel Okrent on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"In the atomization of media, audiences find the one that’s most gratifying to them, the one that tells them what they want to hear rather than what they don’t want to hear."The New York Times’ Dean Baquet on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"Print was this beautiful, perfect medium. You had all day to polish it. Speed was not an issue."The American Conservative’s Daniel McCarthy on What’s Wrong (and Right) With the Media
"I do think the right has more grounds to complain than the left does."