Politico Escapee Recounts Hellish Cult Life

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The eating of cake will cease until morale improves.

Politico refugee Michael Calderone has an iPad-only account of his former tormentor, entitled, "Inside the Cult." Business Insider has swiped some of the highlights, including this chilling detail:

"There have been so many departures lately that Politico editors have done away with the traditional going-away cake in the newsroom."

Anybody attempting to leave Politico will have their cake taken away. A second escape attempt will result in editor Jim VandeHei confining them with leg shackles:

Third attempt? There has never been a third attempt to leave Politico.