People Make a Lot of Claims About Coffee’s Benefits and Problems

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It adds 75 years to your life! It takes 135 days off your sleep cycle and 23 years off your life if you have between eight and eleven cups a day, but only if you drink it in a red mug with one Splenda. That sort of thing. But never before have we heard "it makes you a creepy serial groper." Hmm, sounds prettttty dubious to us. Science? Got anything here?