As part of the Catskills rebranding effort, a promotional group asked for new slogan ideas from the public. The New York Times reports that the Catskill Park Resource Foundation received a whopping 3,714 slogans, which were all very helpful — for confirming that most of us would never make it at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce.

 Here are the five finalists:

The Catskills: Peaks of Perfection

The Catskills: Always in Season

The Catskills: Time for an Altitude Adjustment

Find Yourself in the Catskills

The Catskills: So Near, Yet So Far Out

People can vote on the foundation's website, but the group says it may not use the winning slogan, probably because they're all terrible. On the up side, with a little tweaking most of these slogans can be reused the next time Applebee's rolls out a new menu item.