London Mayor Boris Johnson Wins Olympic Gold at Getting Stuck on Zip Line

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Wacky, bike-riding London Mayor Boris Johnson has all the world's eyes on him these days, what with hosting the Olympic Games and plotting with Rupert Murdoch to succeed David Cameron atop the Conservative party. So what better time to grab two British flags, strap on a goofy blue helmet, and glide down a faulty zip wire. "Get me a ladder," Johnson says, immobile and dangling like a chubby baby. "I think the brakes got stuck." But as Winston Churchill once proclaimed, a true statesman always rides the zip line.