The besuited man police believe beat a Spanish tourist with a hammer near City Hall last week may not be John C. Yoos, 43, after all. The suspect gave authorities a full name, birth date, and social security number matching a U.S. citizen that currently lives in Vancouver, where he's a chess master, and presumably does not attack strangers with tools. The real Yoos was alerted to the case by a friend, who thought it a funny a coincidence, until Yoos recognized the attacker as an acquaintance he knew in Canada about ten years ago. "It's a little bit disconcerting because, obviously, it's been widely reported," said Yoos proper. "I'd be very happy if this was clarified soon — that this is not, in fact, me." This is why everyone needs a vanity Google Alert.