Replace all mentions of "Romney" with "Elvis Presley" and all mentions of the Orthodox Jews trying to chase him with "teenage girls," and this pool report of Mitt Romney arriving at a fund-raising event in New Jersey today starts to make sense:
[A]s we turned into Lake Terrace, the motorcade drove past an Orthodox Jewish wedding party that had been posing for pictures outside. Immediately, the family abandoned the bride and groom and began chasing Romney's car in the parking lot, waving cameras. The candidate's SUV drove around a corner to a back entrance, followed by at least 10 members of the wedding party who tried to run up to Romney's car by [sic] were halted first, by a wood fence, which one man tried to scale, and then by Secret Service agents, who did not look pleased. "Oh you're Secret Service," one woman said, as she was asked by an agent to move back. "We just want to see Romney."
Are we sure this is a pool report and not a dream Mitt Romney had after falling asleep while watching Fiddler on the Roof?