Romney’s Former Rivals Will Host Sideshow Acts at Republican Convention

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"Seriously, don't talk during my convention."

The organizers of the Republican National Convention have been trying to figure out how to incorporate various personalities in the party without turning the event into a circus, and apparently their solution is to shunt Mitt Romney's colorful primary challengers into tangential roles during the convention. Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann will speak at a tea party rally held at a megachurch twenty minutes outside of Tampa, Florida (it's called the Unity Rally, so don't take this as a sign that there are major divisions in the party). The New York Times reports that Newt Gingrich will teach a series of workshops nicknamed Newt University, and Gingrich is said to be "focused on preparing his lesson plans." Don't be surprised if all of his lessons are about the majesty of America's zoos.