From his fake-but-not-really super-PAC to his slightly more serious campaigns against autism and poverty, Stephen Colbert has never shied away from the political discourse. However, it looks like Colbert has finally found his true legacy with PeTOP (People for the Ethical Treatment of Produce), an organization he's just launched to defend the rights of nearly 75 million tons of fruits and vegetables "abused and killed" by PETA-brainwashed Americans each year. "Can you look into these potatoes' eyes and tell them you don't care," he asks in this online video, as Sarah McLachlan lilts in the background. "Will you break another artichoke's heart?" Touching stuff.