The 67th session of the United Nation General Assembly was called to order this past week, bringing together leaders from 193 countries for several weeks of grand public speeches and secretive backroom talks. The most anticipated speaker is — once again! — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who arrives in New York today and is expected to take the podium on Wednesday. Awaiting him at the Warwick New York Hotel on West 54th Street is a gaggle of anti-nuclear protesters and a thoughtful welcome basket from the New York Post. In addition to kosher goodies like Manischewitz Gefilte Fish, onion bialys, and Zabar's cream cheese, the Murdoch paper thought the "schlumpy, unshaven dictator" could use some "I ♥ NY" underwear and a brochure to the Holocaust memorial downtown.
While there's never any way to to know exactly what Ahmadinejad will say at the UN, we're willing to wager that he'll overshoot his allotted five minutes by fifty or so, and that the following subjects will pop up many, many times:
Israel: With tensions in the region running high, and news reports hinting at the increasing likelihood of an Israeli strike on Iran's underground nuclear program, look for some variation of "Israel is a [fill in your disease of choice] and will be wiped from the face of the Earth."
The United States: This year, he has a new grievance: the Obama administration for denied visas to 20 of the 160 people in his entourage.
Syria: Ahmadinejad told reporters in Tehran he was going to discuss the ongoing civil war in nearby Syria. Of course, since Bashar al-Assad is one of his few allies anywhere, he's likely to accuse the West of trying to destroy Syria in order to turn it into one giant dune buggy course.
Or maybe he'll just thank the Post for the bialys.