World’s Ballsiest Old Lady Wants a Cut of Tourism Windfall After Ruining Nineteenth-Century Jesus Fresco

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A woman takes pictures of the deteriorated version of "Ecce Homo" by 19th-century painter Elias Garcia Martinez, at the Borja Church in Zaragoza on August 28, 2012. An elderly woman's catastrophic attempt to "restore" a century-old oil painting of Christ in a Spanish church has provoked popular uproar, and amusement. Titled "Ecce Homo" (Behold the Man), the original was no masterpiece, painted in two hours in 1910 by a certain Elias Garcia Martinez directly on a column in the church at Borja, northeastern Spain. The well-intentioned but ham-fisted amateur artist, in her 80s, took it upon herself to fill in the patches and paint over the original work, which depicted Christ crowned with thorns, his sorrowful gaze lifted to heaven.
Tourist takes photo of what now appears to be a hairy monkey. Photo: CESAR MANSO/AFP/Getty Images

Ever since Cecilia Gimenez, an elderly Spanish lady, took it upon herself to carry out the worst possible restoration of a nineteenth-century fresco of Jesus known as Ecce Homo, tourists have been flocking to the church where it resides and ponying up four euros each for the pleasure of seeing it up close. Now the woman's lawyers are asking for Gimenez's fair share of the proceeds, which, in her defense, she intends to donate to charity. You know that if this actually works, though, she's going to destroy every piece of art she can get her tiny old lady hands on.