Yunel Escobar, the Toronto Blue Jays shortstop who has now been suspended for three games for scrawling a seemingly anti-gay message in his eye black, was unable to shed light on what, exactly, "Tu Ere Maricon" was supposed to mean. "It's just a word," Escobar said through a translator at a press conference in New York. Oh, okay.
However, Escobar did clarify that he did not mean to offend any gay people. He would never do that, considering all the stereotypically gay friends he has. "I have close friends that are gay," he said, falling back on a defense so awkward that it has become the joke of the mea culpa world. "My home decorator is gay, my hair stylist is gay and I have several friends that are gay. And they haven't felt offended about the situation." Maybe they don't know Spanish?